I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
this just has baby written all over it
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Randomize
