no, he came in my armpit
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
