this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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