No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
