the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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