So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I can't turn off my feet"
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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