There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
it's like iHOP with fire
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
