I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
And then my night got REAL pukey
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Im part way to drunk.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
