people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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