When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Everything about him screamed your future.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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