I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
