Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
