btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
