How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
