well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
