it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
