he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
