I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
