I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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