Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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