And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
