the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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