I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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