Please, let me fuck your mom
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
