Define "chronic" masturbator.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
