I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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