There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
