i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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