Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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