I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
