Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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