But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
