if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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