hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
