I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
