im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
