Having a random hookup so left but love u
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
