Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
