The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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