I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Randomize
