Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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