I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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