I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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