She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
