Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
