you would pick up someone in the library
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
