Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
