I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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