Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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