I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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