Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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