I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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