Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
