I wish I only lived at night.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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